a love letter to the spill

and to gord
and to the baby set to be born today
and to their momma

this was the first place i read poetry in nogojiwanong
this place made me a poet
like you also made me a poet
as i weaved your song lyrics
into my own honouring
of your grief of your strength
of your mothering

today you will give birth
with your lover a near stranger
in the room
something about this
reminds me of him

your love
your baby
revealing itself
constellations of
newness
never seperate from old

i fell in love here
the first time i saw
you interrupt the room
dark beats and screaming
induct me into the
church of garbage

i flirted hard with you
that one night here
you wrote me the butterfly poem
and then i really knew
later i sat in a chair in the back
wrote you a love poem
made all the queers jealous
and then we fell out of love too
closed our doors
and somehow i’m still okay.

you served me gin and radlers
and helped serve a purpose
when i still drank, too
if i did still drink
maybe i would write a line
about how the sinks
so close to the toilet
always made things easier
for my consistent trips to the bathroom
but that hasn’t been me for a long time
so i won’t

i never played music here
but i think i always knew
if i was to ever grace your stage
that it would have to be the best

it would be a bold
and courageous act
just going for it
like you will today
meeting your new baby
like he did that night
in front of eleven million people

like each one of my friends
and perfect strangers
who gave me a little piece
of loud
a nod of my head
over and over to the beat

if i had been there last night
i’d have given you my best and loudest lulu
from a voice that will also change soon
too.

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